Grey Area
by deangirl22
Summary: F!Shepard/TIM Oneshot. There were now three secrets that the Commander held dearly.


A/N - Wrote this 3 years ago and it's been sitting on my thumbdrive ever since. Much as I love Garrus, if given the option TIM would've been my main squeeze.

* * *

Walking away from Garrus and Joker with a secret smile painted on her lips, Shepard experienced the same rush she had felt while lying to Wreave. Reveling in her own shady behavior was a welcome distraction, still Shepard pondered why she had enjoyed lying to her friends. Aside from Tali and Liara, Joker and Garrus were the closet allies she had. Shepard had never bonded with Ash, and had only saved her for the sake of the Williams family. The elevator door enclosed Shepard in darkness, faint light radiated off the directorial as her finger tapped on 'Captain's Quarters'. She wanted to tell them Mordin was alive, to see the relief wash onto everyone's face at the knowledge Wreave's looming threat of another krogan war was false. Yet there was a thrill in withholding such information, to have a secret that concerned life and death, not just with Mordin but with the galaxy at large. In the war against the Reapers, Shepard now had salarian support in addition to the krogans. It was possible that the salarians would've joined the effort eventually, but the sooner they joined, the better. Salarians were nimble and calculative, a perfect partner to the small drell army Thane had put together.

The elevator doors slid open and Shepard took five long strides towards her cabin, wondering how soon Liara would find out about Mordin. Would she approach Shepard the moment she learned the truth, or wait a while? Passing through the cabin door, Shepard took a deep breath, to calm her thoughts. There was a wondrous knot of anxiety forming in her stomach as she passed her business desk and came to a stop at her personal one. Her blue eyes gorged across her original N7 helmet, as she plucked it off its perch and reached for the interface bauble concealed inside. Setting the helmet down, she cradled the device in her palm, inhaling another breath of composure before turning her palm aside and allowing the bauble to levitate. Clicking away on her omni-tool, Shepard sank onto her couch. The interface activated and The Illusive Man materialized.A curt smile tugged on his lips as he took a drag of his cig. "Penelope." he greeted. "Did you take the Dalatress's offer?"

"It always amuses me when you address me informally then cut straight to business." Shepard replied.

"You know I indulge in foreplay when it counts, Shepard." TIM responded. Shepard laughed spontaneously and TIM tried to mask the glory of this feat, but it showed in his voice. "Now, need I repeat myself?"

"The krogan are uncured."

"Thank you."

Narrowing her eyes and shaking her head, Shepard said. "Don't. I didn't do this for you. It was the right thing to do.."

"Of course...though one might argue it was the only thing you could do, without blighting the galaxy and losing a friend in the process." TIM replied, taking another drag. He basked in the expression that surfaced on Shepard's face, a tantalizing mix of surprise and suspicion.

"How?" Shepard muttered through a clenched jaw.

"Several ways, the simplest of which - the professor is not a fool and you're showing no signs of remorse." TIM retorted smugly.

Shepard's face remained unmovable stone, until a smirk cracked through. "Guess you would remember that look on my face, I'm sure it shows everytime you're inside me..."

"A noble attempt at emasculating me..but not your best." TIM responded cooly. "Perhaps there was fleeting remorse when we first started, but it was just that - fleeting. You've always known what you've wanted Shepard, just as I both remain firm in our convictions, no matter the consequences." TIM took a long drag. "Speaking of...how is he?" he added, breaking eye contact for the first time.

"Now we're back to Shepard.." she deflected.

With intense annoyance shining on his face, TIM's gaze snaked up her body to her eyes. "Behaving as you used to, earns me the right to address you as I used to, Penelope. Let me see him."

"Let you see him? Just a moment ago you asked how he was doing..." Shepard baited.

TIM gritted his teeth. "I know perfectly well how he's doing, I've kept taps on Dr. Michel the moment she boarded the Normandy.." he responded. "Now I'll ask again - let me see my son!" he snapped.

And so Shepard was sated. Their relationship thrived on watching each other squirm, sex was just as much a power play as conversation; yet this bizarre infatuation had become an addiction, one neither was prepared to quit. During her 'lockdown' on Earth, a complication arose - Shepard realized she was pregnant. She often wondered if telling him had been the right choice...just as often however, she wondered if TIM had purposely impregnated her. Activating her omni-tool once again, Shepard skimmed it down her body, revealing her bulging stomach. The hologram of TIM swaggered forward, his free hand outreached. As TIM's electronic hand glided over her baby bump, Shepard struggled to gage his expression. Only the faintest trace of a single emotion showed on his face - pride. Shepard never deluded herself, she knew it wasn't love that the two of them shared...but would he actually care for this child or would TIM only think of him in terms of a dynasty?

Clearing her throat and shaking the loose strands of her black hair out of her eyes, Shepard asked. "Your project with Mr. Lawson..."

TIM's eyes remained on her stomach as he spoke. "You needn't concern yourself.."

"...Miranda thinks otherwise.."

"Naturally so. She doubtlessly thought I held contempt for her father, while nothing could be further from the truth. I'm sure you also disapprove of my secrecy due to the state of things."

Cloaking her baby bump with a wave of her omni-tool Shepard agreed. "The state of things? If we don't deal with the Reapers..."

"Take a breath." TIM interrupted. "And visit Dr. Michel once we're done, you need your shot."

"Why is this baby so important to you?" Shepard demanded.

"It isn't just the child I worry about Penelope. It may be hard for you to grasp, given how little you know about me, but I do care about you." TIM responded.

Exhaling her disbelief Shepard countered. "You wouldn't if I were turian.."

TIM was silent a moment, his orb-like eyes baring into hers. "...I am not a speciest Shepard." he replied and with a loud click, his hologram vanished. The interface bauble dropped lifelessly onto the floor. Shepard stared at it, her recurring nightmare playing in her mind as she drummed her fingers against her stomach. The faceless child running aimlessly amid the wake of Reaper destruction. At first, the child had been the boy Shepard had witnessed being obviated by a Reaper beam, but as the nightmare became more common, his face had melted away. Always he was running, always Shepard futilely chased after him and always the dream ended with the child getting gorged by a Reaper leg. Assuming the Reapers were not yet defeated, TIM would come when the child when was born and whisk him away to safety. Shepard knew this, but she felt ill-prepared for it, uneasy in a way she had never felt before. Rubbing the arch of her eyes, Shepard heaved herself to her feet and clicked the intercom. "Cortez? I need to speak with you.." she announced. Shepard decided she had to tell someone, other than Dr. Michel, or the nightmares may never end. Cortez was the only new crewmate Shepard had bonded with. Traynor reminded her too much of Liara in the early days of their friendship, knowledgeable but annoying, clever yet uncertain. Vega just made her miss Grunt...Grunt...Shepard closed her ocean eyes and shook off the guilt clouding around her. The cure still existed, she hadn't betrayed the krogans entirely. Yet Shepard knew in her gut, she didn't care about the other krogans so much as she cared about Grunt and the possible consequence of her inaction. She didn't want to have to shoot him down as she had to Wrex. Opening her eyes again, Shepard pondered whose life she would save if it came down to it - Mordin or Grunt? The rush she had felt when she first entered her cabin had long faded, and now Shepard just felt a coldness settle into her core.


End file.
